INSPIRATION AND MOTIVATION |
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You
know fear can be powerful, controlling, limiting, and immobilizing. But
did you know that when you accept your fear and tune in to your
confidence voice, you can regain control and reap immeasurable rewards?
Let the author, a full-time professional speaker, share how some
thoughtful and constructive risk-taking can lead to higher job
performance and greater personal satisfaction.
How
do we keep fear from controlling us? Trust me: I didn't develop skill in
this field solely by earning a skydiving World Record or jumping out of
a jet over the North Pole--but it helped. Let's start with some
background, then weave in a couple adventure stories that illustrate how
to face fear and heed your confidence voice. We
know fear is going to be there, and that it will be intensely powerful.
It can control us, limit us, and make our decision for us. If we don't
deal with it effectively, it can immobilize us. There
are two responses to fear: constructive and destructive. The destructive
response goes something like this: We're confronted with a situation
that clearly and appropriately justifies fear, but instead we respond
with, "I'm not afraid." That doesn't bother me." Another
sign we've invoked the destructive response is that we put a barrier
between the fear source and us. We waste precious time and energy
shielding ourselves from the fear source. We could instead put this
energy toward seeking solutions and resolutions to the problem if
we could only acknowledge that we are experiencing fear. The
constructive response to fear requires a simple, but often difficult,
step. And the step is difficult for a perfectly legitimate reason,
because it attacks something that is important to all of us our pride.
The constructive response to fear requires us to admit we're afraid.
When we admit that we're afraid, even if only to ourselves, when we
accept our fear, something very powerful happens. We regain control. We're back
making decisions for ourselves. The fear doesn't disappear, but its
power over us wanes. Early
in the space program, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration
did a study. They had observed that a certain number of their pilots and
astronauts were completing their missions successfully without suffering
motion and stress sickness. Another group was consistently having the
problem. Based on empirical research, NASA found that there was one
factor, and one factor alone, that made the difference between the two
groups. The ones who were going through the mission without a physical
problem were the ones who had acknowledged in advance that they were
going to be afraid. They had a constructive response to fear. For
all of us, but particularly for people who are achievement oriented, the
idea of a feeling like fear exerting so much control over them can be
hard to accept. The thought that a mere emotion--something that did not
spring from their imposing intellect or determined will--could have a
significant impact on them is extremely bothersome. To get comfortable
with the fact that fear doesn't necessarily make sense, yet has
tremendous power over us, can be one of the most consequential events of
our lives. The
process of identifying fear starts with a "feelings
inventory." To get started, sit where there are no distractions.
Answer honestly: Are you angry, happy, sad, or afraid? You may feel more
than one of the emotions, or all of them. Identify the source of each of
these feelings-the real source. This may sound simplistic, but if you do
it with commitment, you will quickly grasp the value. To
understand more completely how a feelings inventory can help you
understand the interplay between emotions, think of a spacecraft in the
weightless environment of space. It has retro-rockets that propel the
spacecraft when they fire. They are there to enable the spacecraft to
maneuver in all directions. Feelings
send us off in various directions just like the retrorockets. When they
fire, we start to travel in a certain direction. When we identify the
feeling and its source, we have the opportunity to counter its effect if
we choose. That's why it is so critical that we understand what's
occurring. It may be that we don't want to counter the effect--that's
okay, too. The difference is that now we're pilots who know what's
taking place as opposed to pilots with rockets firing at random and no
idea where we're headed. A feelings inventory is our control panel.
Sometimes our retro-rockets may fire in a direction that's good. It
helps to know that, too. Infants
have few fears. During the early days of life, we tune in to our
confidence voice like a radio picking up a strong signal. We don't even
need a vocabulary! The message is perfectly clear: Do it. Touch it. Put
it in my mouth. Taste it. Twist it. Throw it on the ground. Never again
will our confidence voice play such an undiluted role in our
actions--fortunately. If we didn't "catch" certain fears from
our society, we would likely die young. Unfortunately,
once those fears do come into our lives, we usually take on more than we
need. We find we become more adept at hearing our fear voice than tuning
in our fainter confidence voice. I
was confronted with my fear voice when I had the chance to skydive to
the North Pole. After three hours in the air, the Russian jet transport
I was aboard had finally arrived over the polar cap. Along with my
fellow team members, I approached the exit ramp. Within two steps of the
edge, I realized I had a significant gear problem: I had forgotten to
tighten my leg straps. If I went into free fall with my leg straps
loose, on opening, my harness would shift upward. My chest strap would
shift across my face, likely knocking off my goggles. In that frigid
Arctic air, with a single tear and a blink of my eyes, my eyelashes
could freeze together. Should that occur in both eyes, I could no longer
tell if I was heading for ice or water. I wouldn't be able to tell when
I was getting near the surface so I could make a safe landing. The worst
case would be that my chest strap would shift above my head, no longer
holding me in my harness. I would pitch forward and continue in free
fall for what would become my final skydive. I
was faced with a very difficult decision and only a few moments in which
to make it. I
had to decide between going back into the aircraft and giving myself a
more thorough gear check or leaving the plane with my team. My team was
my survival mechanism. Due to the speed of the aircraft, my only hope of
landing with my team would be by exiting with my team. I
tightened my leg straps, knowing there could be as many as half a dozen
other important elements of preparation I could have neglected in the
excitement of the moment and the bulk of the unusual gear. As
I looked out that door and tried to make my decision, I heard from my
fear voice and it said, "Jim get back in the plane! You're about to
kill yourself." Fortunately,
my confidence voice was there, too. It had a deliberate, but quieter,
tone: "Jim, you're well trained. You're well prepared and you don't
want to miss this opportunity. If you leave the aircraft now, you'll
have the experience of a lifetime!" I
had to listen to those two voices and decide if I was ready to take the
next step. I did, and the rewards have been immeasurable. I found my
true calling: as a result of that experience, I've been able to become a
full-time professional speaker and help people understand how taking
risks stepping outside their comfort zone-can lead to higher performance
on the job and greater personal satisfaction. Immeasurable rewards await
you, too, if you're willing to take some thoughtful and constructive
risks!
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